Sunday, June 29, 2008

Even I Have My Limit

Some people just never listen. Yep, some people just never listen, or perhaps they just don't bother to understand. I thought I said it clearly. I told them when to do it, and they said OK. I told them to call me if there's a problem, so I can help with it. And they don't. So I thought it's all okay.

And it's not. Someone just have to postpone EVERYTHING to the last moment. And he just have to say as if it's all okay when I asked. Well, no it's not okay. And part of it is my fault for not taking things in my own hand, knowing his tendency to just postpone things as always.

Angry? YES, I 'M ANGRY!



Time to prepare contingency plan. And time to face my responsibility, cause it's mine. I am the one that told everyone I'll take care of this. And I will. Don't worry about that.

I promised I'll do it. I'll get it done.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Tagged by Ipeh (Part 1)

Yep, tagged again. This time, I'll just post one of my answers. The others are for next time.

***

Instructions:
1. Choose up to five of your own characters.
2. Make them answer the following questions.

I chose:
1. Ferzavein Vaunshan (Ferz), my DnD Character from Eldomae Campaign.

What's your opinion on reading and writing?

Ferz : ...
Me : No, you're not getting away with "...". I'm not Tinu.
Ferz : Okay, I write. Sometimes.
Me : Really? I didn't know that.
Ferz : I'm still a bard you know.
Me : Yeah, that's why you're not in DnD 4th edition.

What's your opinion on maths, sciences, and language(s)?

Me : No three dot's.
Ferz : Okay. I am good at science. Well, alchemy, actually.
Me : ... I sometimes forgot you sell hair dyes for a living.
Ferz : Oh, it's not just you. I forgot that sometimes.

What is the best way to learn something?

Ferz : By practicing it over and over. With practice, your body and mind remembers it automatically.
Me : Oh, is that why you love hugging Tinu?
Ferz : ...
Me : Just kidding. Gee, you're not funny at all.
Ferz : Well, blame yourself. I'm your character after all.
Me : Point taken, porcupine.

To what degree do you avoid risks and danger?

Ferz : I avoid danger. And I don't like to take risks.
Me : Em... I think I saw Tinuviel on the way here. She was heading towards a dark elf city.
Ferz : *bolts away*
Me : Hey, you know.. I think half of that city is still after your head- Ah well, he's gone. So much for no risks, eh?

Under what circumstances would you risk your life for someone else?

Me : He's still not back yet. So I'll leave the answer to yourselves. But well, I'll give you a clue. The answer starts with a "T".

Under what circumstances do you think killing someone justified, in general?

Me : I don't really want to know the answer when he returns.
Ferz : *charging at writer* You tricked me!!! Die!!!
Me : Um.. does it answer your question? *runs*

*fast forward a bit after a harrowing life or death chasearound*

Me : Anyway, back to the topic. Under what circumstances?
Ferz : What's wrong with killing people?
Me : Um.. well..
Ferz : Kill before you get killed. It's simple as that, right?
Me : If you put it that way.

What is the worst feeling you experienced?

Ferz : Afraid of losing someone.
Me : Oh yeah, I remember that scene.
Ferz : Shut up.

And what is the best feeling?

Ferz : ...
Me : Not that again. Just answer, will you?
Ferz : Being with Tinuviel. That is enough.

* * *

Other characters will follow if I have time.

Coincidence, or...?

This is the second straight morning that I found myself awake in blind morning, trying to blink myself to sleep again, when my phone rings to tell me a bad news.

Doesn't help that my friend texted me the night before, that her grandma just passed away. What's with this weekend and passing away..?

Family or 'family', both of them are relatives. Both are people that helped form me as a person. And both are my father's siblings. So I pray for strength to be given to their families, and mine. And all who will miss them.

Goodbye.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A Good Night Sleep

Last night I came back to my room just to take a bath, and then hit the bed. Without even turning on my laptop or anything. Just hit the bed. And when I woke up, it's already 1 AM. So I blinked, and go back to sleep.

Well, not right away... I remembered something that needs to be written, so I wrote some scrap notes on my phone, and then go to sleep, right till 7.40 AM. Man, I didn't even know I was that tired. But well, I guess I was. Maybe still is. Physically and mentally.

Doesn't really help that when I woke up there's some bad news on my handphone screen. I know it would happen. And the eerie calmness by which I accept the news is, well.. expected. Though other people will probably say I'm heartless. But I have said my goodbye long ago. And I say it again now. Goodbye.

Waking Up

We are living in a dream
In a world of illusions
A world of false pretense
Where nothing is ever real

I knew this for truth
Yet I don't want this to end
Because I still want to dream
Even if only for a little while

But every dream comes to an end
When the night shifts into day
And it is time for us to leave
And go our separate ways

Monday, June 23, 2008

Scribbling

We come to this world alone
And we'll leave it alone

If tomorrow one just disappear,
Will anyone notice?

The world will still keep going,
Not stopping for anyone

But will anyone notice?

It's not the question of how many,
Just the question of yes or no.

Because maybe one is enough.

---

Random scribblings after reading the last books of Fruits Basket

Friday, June 20, 2008

Relationship

Lately, more than one of my friends have insisted that I should start looking for a girlfriend. Perhaps in part to keep me out of my tendency of flirting with my female friends who are already in a relationship. Or maybe just to keep me out of their hairs sometimes :D

But well, there are some reasons why I don't really want to do it right now. Mainly, because most of the.. potential candidates are not in Bali. Which means I'll have to go Long Distance. And I don't really think I want to do that. Not after what happened last time. Besides that, there are.. other reasons. But well, enough of that.

Anyway, I had an interesting conversation with Lin this afternoon. We were talking about "What would you do if you're not afraid". Basically, if what we would have done differently if we don't think of the risks. Which, as she put it, we often stop ourselves from doing something because of the possible risks involved, regardless of whether the risk was real or imagined.

If there's no risk involved, what would I do differently? Maybe quite some things. But without risks, I think the world will be quite boring indeed. How about you? Something you'd like to do if there's nor risk involved?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Running Away

It's been a while since I last posted. I've been busy with work and other things. And then, last week someone did something stupid. Suffice to say that a friend of mine decided to quit his job in a community that we're in. Which is fine by itself, since no one is forcing him to do it anyway. But it becomes not-so-fine when he left a whole truckload of mess behind. And people have to sort it out for him because he left no clues whatsoever about the current status of his job. It's just that. He just left. Or in other words.. ran away.

I don't know about other places but where I work, If you're going to quit you have to arrange a handover of your current jobs. The basic idea is that a person may come or go, it's their choice to do so. But the work must continue. The show must go on. So before you leave, you hand over your job to someone else, tell them of the status of your current job, the outstanding tasks that are still in progress, and the tasks that still need to be done to complete the job. What's so terribly hard about that? Except if you yourself never really knew the status of your current job, the tasks, and what to do after. Now that's a different story altogether.

Aside from the truckload of mess he left, he also left some questions about 'Why'. It doesn't really matter, though. The fact is, he just left. Without even trying to be responsible by briefing someone about the status of his current job.

This is just mere speculation, but I've been getting the feeling of 'being unneeded' creeping from him, so perhaps that's one reason. I know that feeling. And it's torturous, when you knew that the world is just going to stay its course, regardless of what you do. That even if you suddenly disappear, it wouldn't matter for anyone. I know that feeling. I still felt that way these days.

But it still doesn't give someone the justification to just leave all his responsibilities and leave them to someone else. Sure, you always have the right to run away. But for me personally, running away is never an answer. It has never solved anything for me, and it never will.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Bad for Your Health

I wonder, how do you guys handle the things that you know for sure it's bad for you, but at the same time, you can't seem to stay away from it. Let's say.. that very tasty chocolate that you can't stop eating even though you know it'll do wonders to your teeth, or the sack of potato chips just waiting to be eaten even though you know you're having a sore throat.

These kinds of things... How do you handle them? Do you usually surrender to the temptation.. or brace yourself and say no?

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

A Simple Psych Test

I was forwarded this test from a friend last week. While my answers are not exactly on target.. but I can see why the test is quite accurate for most people. Well, why don't you try? :D

---

DO NOT READ AHEAD.

IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY

1st. Get PEN and PAPER

2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW

3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS ! Very important for good results.

4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON`T READ AHEAD otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.










1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.












2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2 ,

WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT..

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?














3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7 ,

WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER.











CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD














4. WRITE ANYONES NAME

(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5, & 6 .













DON`T CHEAT :D













5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
















6. Finally,

MAKE A WISH

















ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME


1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in SPACE 2





2. THE PERSON IN SPACE No 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE






3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7






4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4







5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.







6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR LUCKY STAR







7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3






8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7







9. THE 10 TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK PRESENTLY






10. AND 11 IS THE SONG ABOUT YOUR LIFE


----


There are several versions to this test, but for most, the two first numbers don't actually matter. It's more like a diversionary opening. Well, yes, I can understand why this is mostly matches most people. But unfortunately, not really true with mine. (Unless Oz somehow showed up with a good job offer when my current contract is over :D)

Tagged by Natsu

... title said it all. Cih.

RULES:

1. tag 10 people (not the one who sent it to you!)
2. answer all truthfully
3. take it in public!
4. tell all tagged on their profile that they have been tagged,
and link to your journal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Info
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together. (Was.)
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[ ] I'm in school
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework. (but not always at home)
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[ ] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[ ] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had measles

Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day. (almost, but not quite.)
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star. (not just 'a' )
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[x] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car. (not exactly 'crash..' more like bumped)
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink. (not regularly.. well, almost weekly. Almost)
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I've woken up crying.


Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[ ] I hate funerals. (Only some of them.)
[x] I've seen someone dying
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news. (not regularly, at least.)
[ ] I don't kill bugs. (die you cockroaches! die!!)
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone. (Well, I paid for that damned ringback tone. Involuntarily)
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam the opposite!
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, red or blue.
[ ] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[x] All of those are answered honestly


----

No, I don't tag anyone.. except those who want to.