It's been more than one month since my last post. I don't know what iv'e been doing these last weeks. I've been busy, or at least busying myself, with trivial things. I don't know. Just can't get my priorities staright. I know i should start focusing on the important things, but knowing and being able to do it are xompletely different things altogether. That has always been my problem. I know lots of things, I know what i should do, but summoning enough willpower to do it is, most of the time, something that i can't do.
And well, this last month seemed to just breeze past me like so many other months in my life. I don't know, sometimes i just feel like i'm just wasting my time. Sometimes it's just like whatever i'm doing is insignificant. And I feel like i've lost one friend these last months. I don't know, she just drifted away, and I didn't even try hard enough to hold her back. Feh, like i even have the right to do that. I don't know, was it fear? Fear of starting yet another grave mistake like the year back, or even the one before that?
I just don't know. Too many thoughts. Too many jumbled mess in my head, and too many things to do. Then why am I writing this? Ah, me and myself. Poking at other's troubles, pretending to care, yet keeping my distance so that i won't get splashed by the murky problems. Perhaps juist a way to keep my mind off my own troubles. As my friend once said. I deal with other's problems, but not mine. And it makes things worse by each day.
Really, i knew that as fact.
