When Reality Knocks at the Door

Warning : Unstructured rambling imminent.

How should I start? Well, suffice to say that i found some revelations about some things of the past. How much of it was true? I don't really know. And frankly, it doesn't matter. Sometimes I forgot how the world is not always what it seems. Sometimes, I forgot how thankful I should be for what I have.

Does it matter? Sometimes knowing something without being able to do anything about it, hurts just as much as not knowing anything. And I have just realized how selfish I am. Where was I when I'm needed? Where was I when someone I call friend suffers? In my ignorance, I shut myself from their world. Thinking it's all right out there. When in fact it's not. When in fact nothing is as simple as I thought.

What's past is past. One can only learn from it, and step forward. I know that, but sometimes it's just hard to do. Ah well, at the very least, this revelation taught me a lot. Be thankful for what you have... some people might kill for things you've taken for granted.

PS : Time to start caring more about what happens around you, you insensitive bastard...

Mine, or...?

Sometimes I'm confused. Is this feeling mine, or was it someone else's? Sometimes it's just too real to ignore. Too captivating to call it not my own. Or was it always a part of me? Are these words mine, or his? And does it matter? He's a part of me, as much as I am a part of him.

And I thank you, abbil, for your advice. Sometimes we need to be more honest with ourselves. Sometimes we need to start being more honest to others.

All trust is foolish, indeed. But sometimes we need to be a fool to truly enjoy life.

Lost and Found

Several days ago, I rummaged through my old archives and found some very old works of mine. Which leaves me wondering, where'd all that motivation go? Lately, I can't even bring myself to start writing. I have ideas, but no willpower to start. Ah, well, perhaps I should just get my rusty gears to work again...

After seeing those old works, I realized that my writing style's changed over the years. And well, it's a change for the better. I guess I should thank Ravey for that. All those years working at Forsaken : Black Heaven really improved my skills. Especially when faced with a very criticizing editor such as him.

Oh, and speaking of lost and found... I found some old links too. Two of them are my Johari window and my Nohari Window. For those who know me, feel free to fill them.