Gee, thanks, Cip. I thought I was saved from this when Ipeh tagged Nats instead... Oh well, here goes.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Felix
2. Fei
3. Pil2 (okay, that one's limited to some people :P)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
1. Zaku(ruchi)
2. cangkir
3. Alvales
THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
1. Drinking milk
2. Browsing
3. Walking to the lab
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My ability to write
2. My personality (though sometimes I dislike it)
3. My processing speed
THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Envy
2. Tardiness
3. Indecisiveness
THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
1. Jakarta
2. Bandung
3. Orenjonion
THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
1. Being alone
2. People's overexpectation
3. Hurting other people.. again...
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. shirt
2. pants
3. my trusty watch
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. friends
2. fresh air
3. sleep
THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
1. My PC
2. Handphone
3. My wallet.. or rather, its contents :P
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
1. Simple Plan
2. Fiction Junction
3. Mocca
THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
1. Writing a good piece
2. Being with close friends
3. Making people happy
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Silly-go-round - Fiction Junction
2. Sakura Difference - Jyukai
3. Handel's Sarabande - Maksim
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Get a good job
2. Travel around Java with close friends
3. Write a novel-length story
THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
1. School life. Could've been more fun
2. Hurting people precious to me
3. My hedgehog mode
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Mutual understanding
2. Companionship
3. Honesty
THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'VE GIVEN TO THE WORLD:
Don't remember any.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in order):
1. Truth
2. Truth
3. Lie
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
1. Hair
2. Eyes
3. Smile
THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
1. Understanding
2. Warmth
3. Frankness
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Eliminate my tardiness
2. Socializing for long period of time
3. Forget the past
THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
1. Lin
2. My father
3. ...
THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
1. a laptop
2. money. Lots of it :D
3. a hug
THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
1. God
2. Myself
3. People around me
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. Writing
2. Browsing the internet
3. Gaming
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Meet a certain someone
2. WoW
3. Sop Buntut
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. IT Consultant
2. Writer
3. Quality Assurance for Games :D
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
1. Singapore
2. Bali
3. Malang
THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
1. Tachiki Noriko (yes, you know what I've been reading...)
2. Spiderman
3. Tinuviel Eldaranel (^^)
THREE BOY’S NAMES:
I'm not good with names
THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
See above
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Just to live my life as usual
Now, the next person to tag... Hm... Piyo~ if you're reading this, you're tagged :P
PS : Sponsor's message. Cupie, if you read this. You're tagged too.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
When Reality Knocks at the Door
Warning : Unstructured rambling imminent.
How should I start? Well, suffice to say that i found some revelations about some things of the past. How much of it was true? I don't really know. And frankly, it doesn't matter. Sometimes I forgot how the world is not always what it seems. Sometimes, I forgot how thankful I should be for what I have.
Does it matter? Sometimes knowing something without being able to do anything about it, hurts just as much as not knowing anything. And I have just realized how selfish I am. Where was I when I'm needed? Where was I when someone I call friend suffers? In my ignorance, I shut myself from their world. Thinking it's all right out there. When in fact it's not. When in fact nothing is as simple as I thought.
What's past is past. One can only learn from it, and step forward. I know that, but sometimes it's just hard to do. Ah well, at the very least, this revelation taught me a lot. Be thankful for what you have... some people might kill for things you've taken for granted.
PS : Time to start caring more about what happens around you, you insensitive bastard...
How should I start? Well, suffice to say that i found some revelations about some things of the past. How much of it was true? I don't really know. And frankly, it doesn't matter. Sometimes I forgot how the world is not always what it seems. Sometimes, I forgot how thankful I should be for what I have.
Does it matter? Sometimes knowing something without being able to do anything about it, hurts just as much as not knowing anything. And I have just realized how selfish I am. Where was I when I'm needed? Where was I when someone I call friend suffers? In my ignorance, I shut myself from their world. Thinking it's all right out there. When in fact it's not. When in fact nothing is as simple as I thought.
What's past is past. One can only learn from it, and step forward. I know that, but sometimes it's just hard to do. Ah well, at the very least, this revelation taught me a lot. Be thankful for what you have... some people might kill for things you've taken for granted.
PS : Time to start caring more about what happens around you, you insensitive bastard...
Monday, July 16, 2007
Mine, or...?
Sometimes I'm confused. Is this feeling mine, or was it someone else's? Sometimes it's just too real to ignore. Too captivating to call it not my own. Or was it always a part of me? Are these words mine, or his? And does it matter? He's a part of me, as much as I am a part of him.
And I thank you, abbil, for your advice. Sometimes we need to be more honest with ourselves. Sometimes we need to start being more honest to others.
All trust is foolish, indeed. But sometimes we need to be a fool to truly enjoy life.
And I thank you, abbil, for your advice. Sometimes we need to be more honest with ourselves. Sometimes we need to start being more honest to others.
All trust is foolish, indeed. But sometimes we need to be a fool to truly enjoy life.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Lost and Found
Several days ago, I rummaged through my old archives and found some very old works of mine. Which leaves me wondering, where'd all that motivation go? Lately, I can't even bring myself to start writing. I have ideas, but no willpower to start. Ah, well, perhaps I should just get my rusty gears to work again...
After seeing those old works, I realized that my writing style's changed over the years. And well, it's a change for the better. I guess I should thank Ravey for that. All those years working at Forsaken : Black Heaven really improved my skills. Especially when faced with a very criticizing editor such as him.
Oh, and speaking of lost and found... I found some old links too. Two of them are my Johari window and my Nohari Window. For those who know me, feel free to fill them.
After seeing those old works, I realized that my writing style's changed over the years. And well, it's a change for the better. I guess I should thank Ravey for that. All those years working at Forsaken : Black Heaven really improved my skills. Especially when faced with a very criticizing editor such as him.
Oh, and speaking of lost and found... I found some old links too. Two of them are my Johari window and my Nohari Window. For those who know me, feel free to fill them.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Done and Done
Finished. Sorta. Now, just waiting for the ceremonials.
Just one question though.
What am I going to do now?
Just one question though.
What am I going to do now?
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Simple Computer Problems
Things to do when your monitor shows a blank after startup (i.e. computer 'breakdown')
1. Take a look at your CPU lights when it's turned on. Is it running? If so, and if the monitor shows a 'No Signal Input', check the cable that connects your comp and the CPU. Most of the time it's just a loose cable.
2. When you start it up, does it emit an audible 'beep'? If so, check the beeping against the table below :
Check the appropriate hardware's plugging for each problem.
3. If it doesn't even start, meaning not even the lights are on, and no sound, check your power supply and cables. Most likely the problem stems from there.
This 'guide' is by no means perfect, and is put online only by the request of some friends who kept getting 'simple' problems with their PC. Feel free to use it, but be warned. Your mileage may vary.
1. Take a look at your CPU lights when it's turned on. Is it running? If so, and if the monitor shows a 'No Signal Input', check the cable that connects your comp and the CPU. Most of the time it's just a loose cable.
2. When you start it up, does it emit an audible 'beep'? If so, check the beeping against the table below :
For Award and Phoenix BIOS:
1 short beep: Normal
2 short beeps: CMOS error
1 long and 1 short beep: DRAM error
1 long and 2 short beeps: Video card error
1 long and 3 short beeps: Keyboard error, or video card error
1 long and 9 short beeps: ROM error
Long continuous beeps: DRAM not installed correctly, bad memory, or incompatable
Short continuous beeps: Bad power supply
Check the appropriate hardware's plugging for each problem.
3. If it doesn't even start, meaning not even the lights are on, and no sound, check your power supply and cables. Most likely the problem stems from there.
This 'guide' is by no means perfect, and is put online only by the request of some friends who kept getting 'simple' problems with their PC. Feel free to use it, but be warned. Your mileage may vary.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Masquerade
Warning : What lies below is not the most structured writing you'll ever see. It's just a huge number of personal rants and ramblings put together in a fine bloody mess. And no, It's not directed to anyone in particular.
I sometimes wonder, do chameleons ever feel an identity crisis? I mean, when one spends most of their time mimicking others, doesn't one begin to feel like something else? Does it ever occur to them, that possibly, they've changed colors so often that they forgot what their true color truly are?
Some people sometimes wear too many masks, and forgot what their true faces are. Some were too afraid to open their masks, in fear of non-acceptance. And some wore them because of necessity, or so they thought.
It's probably fine for these masqueraders to shift from one mask to another, basking in their relative safety from the outside world. But, as a friend once told me, It's not that fine for those outside. It's not easy befriending someone while you don't really know what he thinks.
It's even worse when one's masquerade encounters another. And it's chilling to behold. Who knows, under the blanket of smiles, how many daggers are being hidden? When one spent their life inside a mask, it's only natural that one suspects what lies behind the mask of another. Imagine a society full of these creatures, always suspecting, never trusting, keeping distances away from the other with masquerades.
Then you'll have a colony of hedgehogs... or dark elves.
I sometimes wonder, do chameleons ever feel an identity crisis? I mean, when one spends most of their time mimicking others, doesn't one begin to feel like something else? Does it ever occur to them, that possibly, they've changed colors so often that they forgot what their true color truly are?
Some people sometimes wear too many masks, and forgot what their true faces are. Some were too afraid to open their masks, in fear of non-acceptance. And some wore them because of necessity, or so they thought.
It's probably fine for these masqueraders to shift from one mask to another, basking in their relative safety from the outside world. But, as a friend once told me, It's not that fine for those outside. It's not easy befriending someone while you don't really know what he thinks.
It's even worse when one's masquerade encounters another. And it's chilling to behold. Who knows, under the blanket of smiles, how many daggers are being hidden? When one spent their life inside a mask, it's only natural that one suspects what lies behind the mask of another. Imagine a society full of these creatures, always suspecting, never trusting, keeping distances away from the other with masquerades.
Then you'll have a colony of hedgehogs... or dark elves.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Tagged by Ipeh...
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"Hal ini diperlukan karena dalam penentuan kandidat awal menggunakan signature..."
yes, it's my project report
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Almost hit Oz...
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Star Sports in my friend's place
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
16:15
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
16:17
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
People talking.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Just now, walking to campus
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My Project Report
9. What are you wearing?
Blue shirt and jeans
10. Did you dream last night?
Yeah
11. When did you last laugh?
Yesterday?
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Posters, Calendars, et cetera... (I'm in UKJ's secretariat ^^; )
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Oz, if he counts as weird
14. What do you think of this quiz?
...
15. What is the last film you saw?
Pirates of South china Sea... er... Caribbean : At World's End
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A new PC
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I get depressed easily
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I don't really know
19. Do you like to dance?
yes
20. George Bush:
Which one? Senior or Junior?
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
That would be up to my future wife ^^;
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Look up :P
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yeah
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Welcome home."
25. 4 people who must also do this meme in THEIR journal:
Those who wanted to :)
"Hal ini diperlukan karena dalam penentuan kandidat awal menggunakan signature..."
yes, it's my project report
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Almost hit Oz...
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Star Sports in my friend's place
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
16:15
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
16:17
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
People talking.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Just now, walking to campus
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My Project Report
9. What are you wearing?
Blue shirt and jeans
10. Did you dream last night?
Yeah
11. When did you last laugh?
Yesterday?
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Posters, Calendars, et cetera... (I'm in UKJ's secretariat ^^; )
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Oz, if he counts as weird
14. What do you think of this quiz?
...
15. What is the last film you saw?
Pirates of South china Sea... er... Caribbean : At World's End
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A new PC
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I get depressed easily
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I don't really know
19. Do you like to dance?
yes
20. George Bush:
Which one? Senior or Junior?
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
That would be up to my future wife ^^;
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Look up :P
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yeah
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Welcome home."
25. 4 people who must also do this meme in THEIR journal:
Those who wanted to :)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
A Song
Ballad of Serenity
Joss Whedon & Sonny Rhodes
Take my love
Take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care
I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out
To the black tell 'em I ain't coming back
Burn the land
And boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me
Have no place
I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
Joss Whedon & Sonny Rhodes
Take my love
Take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care
I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out
To the black tell 'em I ain't coming back
Burn the land
And boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me
Have no place
I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
Monday, May 28, 2007
The Little Girl and The Wolf
After reading Kappa's blog, I decided to run a little rampant on the web, searching for some older versions and variations to well-known fairy tales. After finishing my job, I came into conclusion that the Brothers Grimm did quite a good job in transforming some tales into bedtime stories as they were today. The older versions of some stories (e.g. Sleeping Beauty, Snow White) are not as tame as their well-known versions. To find out what I meant,just read the history sections of these stories in this page.
And while cruising the web, I found some interesting variations to these well-known tales. I'll post one that really caught my eye right after this. Enjoy ^^;
And while cruising the web, I found some interesting variations to these well-known tales. I'll post one that really caught my eye right after this. Enjoy ^^;
The Little Girl and the Wolf
by James Thurber
One afternoon a big wolf waited in a dark forest for a little girl to come along carrying a basket of food to her grandmother. Finally a little girl did come along and she was carrying a basket of food. "Are you carrying that basket to your grandmother?" asked the wolf. The little girl said yes, she was. So the wolf asked her where her grandmother lived and the little girl told him and he disappeared into the wood.
When the little girl opened the door of her grandmother's house she saw that there was somebody in bed with a nightcap and nightgown on. She had approached no nearer than twenty-five feet from the bed when she saw that it was not her grandmother but the wolf, for even in a nightcap a wolf does not look any more like your grandmother than the Metro-Goldwyn lion looks like Calvin Coolidge. So the little girl took an automatic out of her basket and shot the wolf dead.
(Moral: It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be.)
The Week That Was
It's almost done. Just a little finishing touch, and my final Project report is done, and I'll be ready for the final test. Ah well, It's been a week since my last post, and I think it's time to do post some rants (again).
Lately, I'm spending more money than usual, which is not good. I definitely have to begin saving until I find some income. Perhaps it's time to get some paying projects.
And I can't even recall what I've done in this past week, save from some uneventful things. Man, I'm bored. I guess I'll finish this report ASAP, and find some excitement somewhere...
Oh, and today someone asked me something about friendship. Which left me wondering, how many of those I considered friends are truly my friend, and how many are only acquaintances? Probably not that many, especially considering my tendencies to keep my distance from everyone. Ah well, I know I should change it, but knowing and being able to do it are two different things.
Stupid hedgehog.
Lately, I'm spending more money than usual, which is not good. I definitely have to begin saving until I find some income. Perhaps it's time to get some paying projects.
And I can't even recall what I've done in this past week, save from some uneventful things. Man, I'm bored. I guess I'll finish this report ASAP, and find some excitement somewhere...
Oh, and today someone asked me something about friendship. Which left me wondering, how many of those I considered friends are truly my friend, and how many are only acquaintances? Probably not that many, especially considering my tendencies to keep my distance from everyone. Ah well, I know I should change it, but knowing and being able to do it are two different things.
Stupid hedgehog.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
A Different Kind of Fool
Which is more stupid?
One who doesn't know what to do?
Or one who knew what to do,
yet can find no willpower to do it?
Which is more foolish?
One who loved everyone and not oneself
or one who loved nobody but oneself?
Tell me, then.
Actors who have many masks
But forgot what their face looked like
Philosophers who have many wisdom
Yet applied none to themselves
Lovers who loved and hurt
Shut out love in return
Afraid of hurt, they become
Not Lovers anymore
One who sees illusions of the past
Yet whose feet walks the present
Looking ever backwards
Never to the future
One who cares yet pretends not to
One who pretends to care but in truth don't
One who is blind but pretends to see
One who sees but averts their eyes.
Which kind of Fool are you?
One who doesn't know what to do?
Or one who knew what to do,
yet can find no willpower to do it?
Which is more foolish?
One who loved everyone and not oneself
or one who loved nobody but oneself?
Tell me, then.
Actors who have many masks
But forgot what their face looked like
Philosophers who have many wisdom
Yet applied none to themselves
Lovers who loved and hurt
Shut out love in return
Afraid of hurt, they become
Not Lovers anymore
One who sees illusions of the past
Yet whose feet walks the present
Looking ever backwards
Never to the future
One who cares yet pretends not to
One who pretends to care but in truth don't
One who is blind but pretends to see
One who sees but averts their eyes.
Which kind of Fool are you?
Rants... and Lots of it.
Okay... where to start? I got a lot to rant about lately, and surprisingly (or not) most are not about myself.
Let's see. How about we start at... the legendary traffic problem in Jakarta. For those who lived there, you should know what I mean. The whole city streets are overpacked with private vehicles, public transport, and motorcycles. As some 'experts' would say, the solution to these traffic problems are Mass Rapid Transport (MRT). Hell, even a half-decent engineer like myself could figure that out.
Now, let's look at MRT. For now, Jakarta has its commuter train (which is reputedly packed and unsafe, but I leave that for readers to decide. Just try the 6 AM economic-class for a change.) and the new busway.
Suffice to say that the Busway system is... undermanned and underequipped to deal with the number of potential passengers. The newer corridors have far lesser number of vehicles than needed. As such, the arrival rate of the buses are erratic at best. Sometimes it only took 5 minutes, sometimes (more likely) they'd arrive at around 20 minutes interval, and even then, it's likely to be full and could only load only a handful of extra passengers.
Some stated that Jakarta would apply a congestion control zone to regulate the traffic. As a general rule, congestion control is nice, IF, and only IF the public transport is at least halfway decent. Which is, sadly, not the case for Jakarta. When congestion control is applied without decent public transport, people would have to choose between expensive private transport, or unreliable public transport. a choice between bad and worse. And believe me, it's not fun to be presented that kind of choice when you're just trying to make your living.
The obvious answer to transportation problems in a large city is Subway. The subway took virtually no space above ground (where it's tightly packed in large cities), and have a very good ratio of energy per people transported. Unfortunately this approach has severe problems two. One is that it's expensive to build, and expensive to maintain. This is usually not a problem, except that by being a public transport, it should be affordable to the potential passengers. 'Affordable' and 'Expensive' apparently doesn't like each other that much.
Two, is that Jakarta's underground map is sketchy at best. Imagine sewage lines, gas pipes, water pipes, phone lines, fiber optics, and all other goodies crisscrossing under there. And now imagine, how should you put a train tunnel through all that mess. Add to that, the fact that several of the agencies that overlook those mess aren't exactly well-coordinated, and some even, have inaccurate maps. Believe me, it's true. As an example, a friend once complained about an 'official' map of one of the agencies showing noticeable discrepancies of distance and scaling when compared to the field situation. And some, even showing objects that was not there. While some mislabeled an object as another. Fun, eh?
Of course, if one were to think through the problems, they should find some solutions. Ideas such as digging the tunnel deeper than the known pipes, or rerouting intersecting routes, were possibly viable.
Ah well, enough of my rant for now... Perhaps I'll continue later. Perhaps.
Let's see. How about we start at... the legendary traffic problem in Jakarta. For those who lived there, you should know what I mean. The whole city streets are overpacked with private vehicles, public transport, and motorcycles. As some 'experts' would say, the solution to these traffic problems are Mass Rapid Transport (MRT). Hell, even a half-decent engineer like myself could figure that out.
Now, let's look at MRT. For now, Jakarta has its commuter train (which is reputedly packed and unsafe, but I leave that for readers to decide. Just try the 6 AM economic-class for a change.) and the new busway.
Suffice to say that the Busway system is... undermanned and underequipped to deal with the number of potential passengers. The newer corridors have far lesser number of vehicles than needed. As such, the arrival rate of the buses are erratic at best. Sometimes it only took 5 minutes, sometimes (more likely) they'd arrive at around 20 minutes interval, and even then, it's likely to be full and could only load only a handful of extra passengers.
Some stated that Jakarta would apply a congestion control zone to regulate the traffic. As a general rule, congestion control is nice, IF, and only IF the public transport is at least halfway decent. Which is, sadly, not the case for Jakarta. When congestion control is applied without decent public transport, people would have to choose between expensive private transport, or unreliable public transport. a choice between bad and worse. And believe me, it's not fun to be presented that kind of choice when you're just trying to make your living.
The obvious answer to transportation problems in a large city is Subway. The subway took virtually no space above ground (where it's tightly packed in large cities), and have a very good ratio of energy per people transported. Unfortunately this approach has severe problems two. One is that it's expensive to build, and expensive to maintain. This is usually not a problem, except that by being a public transport, it should be affordable to the potential passengers. 'Affordable' and 'Expensive' apparently doesn't like each other that much.
Two, is that Jakarta's underground map is sketchy at best. Imagine sewage lines, gas pipes, water pipes, phone lines, fiber optics, and all other goodies crisscrossing under there. And now imagine, how should you put a train tunnel through all that mess. Add to that, the fact that several of the agencies that overlook those mess aren't exactly well-coordinated, and some even, have inaccurate maps. Believe me, it's true. As an example, a friend once complained about an 'official' map of one of the agencies showing noticeable discrepancies of distance and scaling when compared to the field situation. And some, even showing objects that was not there. While some mislabeled an object as another. Fun, eh?
Of course, if one were to think through the problems, they should find some solutions. Ideas such as digging the tunnel deeper than the known pipes, or rerouting intersecting routes, were possibly viable.
Ah well, enough of my rant for now... Perhaps I'll continue later. Perhaps.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Empty
Again. This afternoon, I felt it again. That emptiness that's been haunting me. I know I should be working, finishing the last miles of my report. Yet, I can't help but feel it. I don't know. Was it the idyllic life? Was it my loneliness?
I don't know. Perhaps it's just reality hitting me straight in the face.
I don't know. Perhaps it's just reality hitting me straight in the face.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Research Life
These last weeks, I've been living in a chaotic pace, and it's begun taking it's toll on my body. I really should start stop my nocturnal lifestyle and return to normal. Well, what is 'normal' anyway? Just a perception of what the majority of people think is 'normal'. But well, that's enough.
Anyway, I've known how hard it was to do scientific research in Indonesia for a while, but yesterday was the first time I've experienced it first hand. After one year of hard work working on my research, now I got the chance to publicize it. Only one catch. I should pay for the publication fee. Yes. I should pay for it. And no, it's not a small amount, not for a student with no steady income like me. Well, after researching without payment for a year, that's quite some news.
Luckily, the university got me a discount, and my lecturer helped pay half the entrance fee. Or I wouldn't have it published. With the situation being like this in most places, I understand why it's so hard for Indonesian researchers to actually give mentionable results. And the educational climate in most universities nationwide isn't exactly helping.
With most universities pushing their students to graduate ASAP (higher turnover ratio of goods, higher income. Simple economics, eh?), 4 years max, how are they supposed to have time for anything other than studying?
Anyway, I've known how hard it was to do scientific research in Indonesia for a while, but yesterday was the first time I've experienced it first hand. After one year of hard work working on my research, now I got the chance to publicize it. Only one catch. I should pay for the publication fee. Yes. I should pay for it. And no, it's not a small amount, not for a student with no steady income like me. Well, after researching without payment for a year, that's quite some news.
Luckily, the university got me a discount, and my lecturer helped pay half the entrance fee. Or I wouldn't have it published. With the situation being like this in most places, I understand why it's so hard for Indonesian researchers to actually give mentionable results. And the educational climate in most universities nationwide isn't exactly helping.
With most universities pushing their students to graduate ASAP (higher turnover ratio of goods, higher income. Simple economics, eh?), 4 years max, how are they supposed to have time for anything other than studying?
One More Step
One more step. One more step, and I'll graduate from this place that's been my home for five years. One more step.
So why is it that hard to take that step? Dammit, I need motivation. At times like these, I hate being "one-handed"... C'mon man... pull yourself together.
So why is it that hard to take that step? Dammit, I need motivation. At times like these, I hate being "one-handed"... C'mon man... pull yourself together.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Just the Right Way
Lost my way
In this winding road
Just don't know
Where to turn
But perhaps it's okay
Just to lose mysef
A little bit further
Just for a little while longer
In this winding road
Just don't know
Where to turn
But perhaps it's okay
Just to lose mysef
A little bit further
Just for a little while longer
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Lost Things
Have you ever find yourself giving a lot of your time into one thing, and when you look up around you, you realize that in the process of doing so, you've lost contact with almost anything else? Funny. It never felt so wrong, until you've realized how much you've lost.
A Jumble of Things
Finally, It's almost over... Just one more step. But now that my proverbial train is nearing its last stop, I'm still feeling uneasy. What awaits when I step down there? Ready or not, my time's almost done here. Finally it's time to accept my responsibilities.
But well, no use in complaining. As my friend once said, you won't get anywhere without trying. I guess it's already time I got up and start working.
Anyway, lately, I've been filling my spare time (which I have in loads) with a jumble of things. I've begun writing again after a month of hiatus (Hunters in the Dark is now running again), and reposting old works (Forsaken : Black Heaven is up again at everlucid.net). And even revisiting DnD. Feels strange that after several years not playing the game, now I'm DMing several times a week.
It's a fine experience, though. I enjoyed DMing as much as I love playing DnD. It's a pity that I haven't got much time left here.
But well, no use in complaining. As my friend once said, you won't get anywhere without trying. I guess it's already time I got up and start working.
Anyway, lately, I've been filling my spare time (which I have in loads) with a jumble of things. I've begun writing again after a month of hiatus (Hunters in the Dark is now running again), and reposting old works (Forsaken : Black Heaven is up again at everlucid.net). And even revisiting DnD. Feels strange that after several years not playing the game, now I'm DMing several times a week.
It's a fine experience, though. I enjoyed DMing as much as I love playing DnD. It's a pity that I haven't got much time left here.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
The Pope's Remarks
At first, I didn't think the reactions on the Pope's speech would be this bad. But well, I was wrong. One quote from a person living several centuries ago, not even your own words, and now you're compared to Mussolini and Hitler? Cool. It's easy to have the reputation of a mass genocider at this age.
What is more surprising (or perhaps not), was the reaction from Iran, Somalia, and Al-Qaeda spokesman in Iraq. The heavily violence-laden comments were exactly what the Pope was talking about. Violence and Religion are not compatible with each other. While I know that Islam is a peaceful religion, and some Moslems are appalled at these comments too, I cannot help but think about the effects of these kinds of response. Responding with violent threats and demonstration, bombing churches and burning statues are only making the situation worse. Islam is not a violent religion, if so, who are these people, who practice violence in the name of Islam? Violence is only going to make Islam as a whole to be misunderstood even more, and the western media is not helping at all.
Perhaps it's about time to start reading the pope's speech as it was intended, and not only the one quoted part.
What is more surprising (or perhaps not), was the reaction from Iran, Somalia, and Al-Qaeda spokesman in Iraq. The heavily violence-laden comments were exactly what the Pope was talking about. Violence and Religion are not compatible with each other. While I know that Islam is a peaceful religion, and some Moslems are appalled at these comments too, I cannot help but think about the effects of these kinds of response. Responding with violent threats and demonstration, bombing churches and burning statues are only making the situation worse. Islam is not a violent religion, if so, who are these people, who practice violence in the name of Islam? Violence is only going to make Islam as a whole to be misunderstood even more, and the western media is not helping at all.
Perhaps it's about time to start reading the pope's speech as it was intended, and not only the one quoted part.
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